March 19, 2010


"without love, life is rock 'n' roll without a drummer."

you know this place, you've been here's called scratch. it's on the intersection of possibility and the corner of nowhere. the tricky part is that there are no street signs telling you which street you are choosing, and the only choice is to turn.

this place goes by many names...starting from scratch, making a fresh start, making a clean break, etc. what's amazing is that people can go in all kinds of different directions, do all kinds of different things...get a degree, get married, write books...and all end up at this ever-so-familiar place known as scratch.

why do we pursue love so strongly? why can we have everything we've worked so hard for...the career we've always wanted, a great salary, amazing friendships...but feel so empty, so void, so missing without love? how can we have found love at one time or another and been so happy and elated and then find ourselves here again at scratch? and why when a relationship is over and the ties are broken do we claim it wasn't really love?

for the hopeless romantics out there, that's really all there is...hope. Hope that this time when you go around the same, old route and make all the usual turns that somehow you will find the detour that doesn't lead you to scratch. that this drive leads into an ending, or rather a continuation, instead of a fresh, clean beginning like all the others.

so it's time to walk away from scratch and begin to hope.

"trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." proverbs 3:5-6

March 3, 2010

a piece of chicken

"i am not a piece of chicken on the buffet. first of all, i am a fillet mignon, and second, i'm not on the buffet!"

how many times do we make the people in our lives feel like options instead of priorities? how many times do we say, "i can do that if i'm not already doing something else?" in other words, if something better doesn't come along and my only other option is complete and utter boredom, then yes, i will spend time with you. i used the above quote/analogy in a conversation with a friend this week when i just felt like instead of being a priority or someone worth making time for i became an option. most of us are aware of our own value. some of us can't appreciate our value, but for the ones that do, we hope that everyone else can appreciate the qualities we have that we feel are outstanding. but when someone doesn't appreciate those qualities or only wants to spend time for you for shallow reasons other than just enjoying the person you are and enjoying your company, it can be discouraging and upsetting. i believe this happens a lot in relationships. people sometimes seek relationships for the wrong reasons. for instance, just because a girl is "on the market" does not mean that it's the meat market. if a guy is seeking a relationship of any kind with a girl just based on her appearance or any other surface-level traits, it can make a girl feel like an option and by no means someone worth getting to know. it can even make a girl, or guy because i realize it works both ways, resent the fact that he or she is attractive or has a fun personality. i say all of this to say first, i want the people in my life to know that they have significant roles in my life...that my life would not function the same without them...that they are in it for a purpose and have a priority. and second, for the people i am getting to know, i want them to know that i seek being in their presence for the right reasons...not for what i can get out of the friendship or relationship, but for how we can mutually bless each other's lives. i want my intentions to be pure in GOD'S eyes, and i never want someone to feel that i have used them or taken advantage of the relationship in which they have allowed me to share.

"all a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD." proverbs 16:2

March 1, 2010

touched by an angel

"are you an angel from the lord?"

today i had an experience that i have never had before in my life. as i was paying my weekly respects to beloved walmart, a woman was ahead of me in line with 2 full carts. she seemed a little frazzled and overwhelmed and like she was having one of those days. i noticed her for a second but then got distracted by something else as i so often do in that huge world of potatoes and shampoo. i managed to escape the conveyor belt of wallet destruction with only 2 bags and was just going about my merry way through the exit when i saw that the woman hadn't even made it to the door. i flipped around, went up to her, and asked her if i could take one of the carts to her car while she took the other one. it was not a big deal, after all i only had 2 bags and would feel completely lazy if i did not help her in some way. but then our eyes met, and she looked me up and down and asked, "are you an angel from the lord?" i said no, that i definitely wasn't, but that i just was really good friends with his son. we talked the whole way to her car, and when we got there she gave me a huge hug and kissed me on the forehead. as i walked away, i heard her talking to herself about angels, and i got in my car and drove away. today i learned that i want someone to confuse me with an angel every day for the rest of my life. i want to be outrageously kind and sweet so that everyone i come in contact with thinks that they have been touched by an angel.

"do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it." hebrews 13:2