April 27, 2010

the placeholder, the replacement, & the irreplaceable

"ne me quitte pas, mon chere."

i've heard it said many times that there are 3 types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't. because that is probably the stupidest joke i've ever heard, i will gladly propose 3 different types of people...ordinary people who create a dichotomy in our lives of being seen every day, yet still waited and prayed for at every moment. do we realize the exact moments when people actually enter our lives? when that person steps in on the dance that will forever change who we are and our path? do they just slip in unnoticed, and what sets them apart? in the study of my favorite subject...people...i've seen many people waiting for "the one" or devastated by "the one that got away." upon monitoring the behavior during the period of anticipation and hope or the behavior after the emergence of the funnel-shaped cloud of depression, i've seen people take on 3 different roles: the placeholder, the replacement, and the irreplaceable.

the placeholder: this person is someone who holds the place of the person who was exactly what you wanted and you lost or who you are hoping and waiting to meet. this is the person you date or spend time with where you are apathetic to the outcome or whom you attach yourself to after you've lost the love of your life, or at least someone you felt very strongly for...until you find that someone who can be the replacement. yes, this person fills a void and provides a comfort in your life, but only temporarily. it's the person you accidentally, or purposely, use in order to feel better without truly loving. it's a band-aid when you need a surgery. a snickers to crank up your blood sugar when you really need the fulfillment of a meal. a jacob black after your edward cullen. it's a backup plan, a makeshift shelter, a quick fix in the mean time of the meantime. in short, it's not meant to last but only meant to pass the time.

the replacement: this is the person whom you find that is what you're looking for as opposed to the nothing you've had or whom you find after a significant relationship ends that completely fulfills everything you lost and even might significantly trump it. you feel no regret for losing the last because you are so thrilled with the next. you have a new comparison, a new standard, a new ideal. (or if you've had nothing prior, it is the something you've been waiting for). you never question what might have been with another or if someone else would be better because you know that this new is a grand improvement and possibly the best option...the best fit for you. this person is so far above a placeholder that when he or she enters your life you have no question or fear of what might be. you might have just told the placeholder that you're not interested in dating anyone for awhile, meet the replacement, and be in a relationship the next week. it's such times when the placeholder, well, learns his or her place. the bottom line here is that the replacement is strong enough to remove all previous questions regarding the past and all fears concerning the future.

the irreplaceable: no matter what beyonce says, sometimes a person comes into your life who is simply irreplaceable. after this person crosses your path, no matter where you go or whom else you meet, that place can never be filled, the wound can never be healed, the break can never be mended...at least not completely. sure there are the placeholders who give the temporary satisfaction, but you just can't seem to find the true replacement. you are branded with that person's mark for the rest of time. it's the person who talks, laughs, smiles, smells...right. that person that you were or are so drawn to emotionally, physically, spiritually, and as you look around you see that so many others are drawn, too. the person who knows you better than you know yourself and dreams bigger for you than you do. who accepts you as you are but challenges you to be better. whom you respect because he or she knows how to tell you "no" and doesn't give into you like all the rest. the person who you could sit and talk with forever. the one who makes a walmart trip feel like the best date of your life and who you adore from the creases of his or her smile to the smell of his or her car. the one you had and now have to watch as people stand in line for just a dream of having. the "one who got away" or the one you thank GOD every day to have. so...if you have an irreplaceable, don't let go. if you had an irreplaceable who got away, what are you doing sitting here reading my blog, GO! if you want to be irreplaceable, be yourself and embrace all that you are. when you love GOD and accept and love yourself it is a common trend that other people do, too. everyone has the right to be irreplaceable and to find the irreplaceable.

1 comment:

  1. If It wasn't so early I may have cried but seeing as thought I am reading eating my breakfast I have resisted from spilling tears in my cereal.

    Your posts are very well thought out and have great meanings. I am going to keep reading just as long as you keep posting.