October 17, 2010

the playlist of love

"no, this is how it works: you peer inside yourself. you take the things you like and try to love the things you took. and then you take that love you made and stick it into some, someone else's heart, pumping someone else's blood. and walking arm in arm, you hope it don't get harmed, but even if it does you'll just do it all again." regina spektor, "on the radio"
there's a song for every situation in life. and there's a song for every emotion you feel. in my experience of living so far, every person i've met has used music to deal with situations and to cope with feelings. many of my friends have shared their therapeutic music with me. and as you might assume, the majority of those friends were girls, and the majority of those songs had to do with love. it's amazing how we experience all these different emotions regarding relationships only to go back for more when a new relationship begins. so i've written a little lyrical accompaniment treating love and relationships like a playlist. please enjoy the exaggerated, fictional, and humorous playlist of love, while pretending to experience all the emotions of a relationship from the perspective of a girl:

i'm "just a small town girl living in a lonely world," and i'm wondering, "can anybody find me somebody to love?" and "then suddenly i see" that "it's raining men, hallelujah!" and then, out of the corner of my eye..."what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man!" and so i'm asking, "can you feel the love tonight?" because "you make me feel like a natural woman." tell me, "how far do i have to go to get to you?" because "i would walk 500 miles," and really i'd "go to the end of the earth for you to make you feel my love." "i would do anything for love."

"i wanna hold your hand" because "all you need is love." "so kiss me" because "every time we touch i get this feeling." "honey, i'm still free. take a chance on me" because "i've got that boom, boom, pow," and "my hips don't lie." really, "i don't care who you are as long as you love me." and "i can't help falling in love with you."

"why can't i breathe whenever i think about you?" "each morning i wake up, before i put on my makeup, i say a little prayer for you." and "these words are my own, from my heart flow, i love you, i love you, i love you." so "1, 2, 3, 4, tell me that you love me more!" "tell me it's real" because "all my life i've prayed for someone like you." "say it again for me because i love the way it feels when you tell me you're in love." "we belong together," so "don't forget about us."

"i will follow you, follow you wherever you may go." wait, "you think i'm crazy? maybe i'm crazy" because "your love, your love, your love is my drug." and "your love's got me looking so crazy right now," but it's just a "crazy, little thing called love." so calm down.

but things are getting weird, and "i always have to steal my kisses from you" because "you're hot, then you're cold. you're yes, then you're no." "why don't you say the things that you said to me yesterday?" "if i were a boy i think i could understand how it feels to love a girl," and i wonder, "will you still love me tomorrow?"

and i got the answer because "i just heard the voice, heard the voice of someone else." ohhh, girl, "i'm sorry that you seem to be confused. he belongs to me. that boy is mine." "you were just friends, at least that's what you said?" "why'd ya have to go and make things so complicated?" "why does love always feel like a battlefield?" because "love is a battlefield."

well, "goodbye, my almost lover." and "goodbye, earl." and "baby, bye, bye, bye." yes, "you look so dumb right now standing outside my house trying to apologize." and "at worst, i feel bad for awhile, but then i just smile. yeah, i just smile." "mmm, whatcha say? that you only meant well? well, of course you did!" "it's just too little too late." "it's too late to apologize." so "leave, get out."

"r-e-s-p-e-c-t, find out what it means to me" because "you must not know about me. i could have another you in a minute." "i'm not going through emotions, waiting and a hoping you'd call me. i'm not missing you." and "you can call all you want, but there's no one home. and you're not gonna reach my telephone." because "if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it."

"i saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes. and i'm happy now living without you." in fact, i think that really "i hate everything about you." and "it's just too bad you've already had the best days of your life."

you know what? "my heart will go on," and "i will survive!" and "now i'm stronger than yesterday." some days i believe that "i will love again, though my heart is breaking," but most days i think that "i don't need a man." because really when you think about it, "i'm every woman. it's all in me." so i'm pretty sure "i'll never fall in love again."

"all i can do is keep breathing," and really, "since you been gone i can breathe for the first time." and "now that you're gone, i can roll onto something good." but "the silence isn't so bad till i look at my hands and feel sad because the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly." so "i'm gonna find another you." that's right, "i'm moving on," and "you'll think of me."

"well, you put on quite a show. you really had me going." but "i can't make you love me if you don't." and "i think it's about forgiveness, even if you don't love me anymore." sure, i "can't take back those hours. but i won't regret cause you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be."

so i'm "just a small town girl living in a lonely world," and i'm wondering, "can anybody find me somebody to love?"

October 4, 2010

if the shoe fits

for those of you who have been asking: yes, this is a charissa original. ;) enjoy.

girls are like shoes. they come in different shapes and sizes. in different colors and personalities. they bring comfort. they bring pain. they help you walk better than you did before. or they slow you down. they make you look good. but you also know when it's time for a new pair. but after walking with those shoes that feel like the perfect fit, you wonder how you ever went barefoot before.

a guy goes into a shoe store. and you as a shoe hope that you stand out. that you are extra shiny that day. that you look your best. but as the guy patrols the aisles, you know that no matter how great of a shoe you are, whether you are chosen or not is up to him.

and then he starts walking down your aisle. you stand up a little straighter and try to look even better. and you watch as he begins to notice other shoes. he glances at one pair but then looks away. he contemplates another but keeps moving. and right as he approaches your box, he stops. is he looking at you or the shoes beside you? oh, he is definitely looking at you! you know because it's got all the other shoes talking.

the sales clerk comes by and asks if he needs any help, and he simply replies, "no, i just really like these shoes." he picks you up. he holds you. out of all the other pairs of shoes, he chooses you. and you can see the wheels turning in his head through his eyes.

he decides to give it a try, and you start walking with him. you wonder whether he thinks you're a perfect fit. or maybe he needs more space. or maybe he'd like you to be closer. maybe you're a running shoe but he needs a walking shoe. or maybe you're a boot, but he wants to run a marathon.

maybe you just don't fit. or maybe he prefers a different style. maybe he sees how much you cost and decides to settle for a cheaper pair. or maybe he's not ready to make a purchase at all. maybe the timing is off. maybe you are a winter boot, and it's the middle of summer. maybe he decides that if he's still interested in awhile, he'll come back and claim you. maybe he just has cold feet, but for whatever reason, he puts you back in your box and places your box back on the shelf.

but as the seasons change and the air gets colder, the guy's feet really start to feel cold, and he starts thinking about those winter boots. he starts wondering: what would life be like if i had bought those boots? those boots looked pretty good, and i bet i would look pretty good with those boots. those boots fit really well, and after the other shoes i've seen, those might be the best in the store. i wonder if they are still available.

so he drives to the shoe store for the sole purpose of purchasing those boots. he parks his car and starts walking, almost skipping, soon running to claim those shoes. he finally knows what he wants, those perfect-fitting boots that he had just held in his very hands just a short time ago. he walks into the shoe store and goes right to the aisle, to the very spot where the shoes...were. someone else got the boots. in a brief moment of hope, he thinks that maybe they were placed on the wrong shelf. he searches the whole store looking frantically for them, but they are gone.

it's winter now, and there are 20 different pairs of boots. they are all pretty functional and capable of keeping his feet warm, but they are not the boots. and as he purchases a pair of boots that look good but just don't fit quite as well, he knows he will never have the boots he wanted again.

the moral of this post? if the shoe fits, wear it.