October 17, 2010

the playlist of love

"no, this is how it works: you peer inside yourself. you take the things you like and try to love the things you took. and then you take that love you made and stick it into some, someone else's heart, pumping someone else's blood. and walking arm in arm, you hope it don't get harmed, but even if it does you'll just do it all again." regina spektor, "on the radio"
there's a song for every situation in life. and there's a song for every emotion you feel. in my experience of living so far, every person i've met has used music to deal with situations and to cope with feelings. many of my friends have shared their therapeutic music with me. and as you might assume, the majority of those friends were girls, and the majority of those songs had to do with love. it's amazing how we experience all these different emotions regarding relationships only to go back for more when a new relationship begins. so i've written a little lyrical accompaniment treating love and relationships like a playlist. please enjoy the exaggerated, fictional, and humorous playlist of love, while pretending to experience all the emotions of a relationship from the perspective of a girl:

i'm "just a small town girl living in a lonely world," and i'm wondering, "can anybody find me somebody to love?" and "then suddenly i see" that "it's raining men, hallelujah!" and then, out of the corner of my eye..."what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man!" and so i'm asking, "can you feel the love tonight?" because "you make me feel like a natural woman." tell me, "how far do i have to go to get to you?" because "i would walk 500 miles," and really i'd "go to the end of the earth for you to make you feel my love." "i would do anything for love."

"i wanna hold your hand" because "all you need is love." "so kiss me" because "every time we touch i get this feeling." "honey, i'm still free. take a chance on me" because "i've got that boom, boom, pow," and "my hips don't lie." really, "i don't care who you are as long as you love me." and "i can't help falling in love with you."

"why can't i breathe whenever i think about you?" "each morning i wake up, before i put on my makeup, i say a little prayer for you." and "these words are my own, from my heart flow, i love you, i love you, i love you." so "1, 2, 3, 4, tell me that you love me more!" "tell me it's real" because "all my life i've prayed for someone like you." "say it again for me because i love the way it feels when you tell me you're in love." "we belong together," so "don't forget about us."

"i will follow you, follow you wherever you may go." wait, "you think i'm crazy? maybe i'm crazy" because "your love, your love, your love is my drug." and "your love's got me looking so crazy right now," but it's just a "crazy, little thing called love." so calm down.

but things are getting weird, and "i always have to steal my kisses from you" because "you're hot, then you're cold. you're yes, then you're no." "why don't you say the things that you said to me yesterday?" "if i were a boy i think i could understand how it feels to love a girl," and i wonder, "will you still love me tomorrow?"

and i got the answer because "i just heard the voice, heard the voice of someone else." ohhh, girl, "i'm sorry that you seem to be confused. he belongs to me. that boy is mine." "you were just friends, at least that's what you said?" "why'd ya have to go and make things so complicated?" "why does love always feel like a battlefield?" because "love is a battlefield."

well, "goodbye, my almost lover." and "goodbye, earl." and "baby, bye, bye, bye." yes, "you look so dumb right now standing outside my house trying to apologize." and "at worst, i feel bad for awhile, but then i just smile. yeah, i just smile." "mmm, whatcha say? that you only meant well? well, of course you did!" "it's just too little too late." "it's too late to apologize." so "leave, get out."

"r-e-s-p-e-c-t, find out what it means to me" because "you must not know about me. i could have another you in a minute." "i'm not going through emotions, waiting and a hoping you'd call me. i'm not missing you." and "you can call all you want, but there's no one home. and you're not gonna reach my telephone." because "if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it."

"i saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes. and i'm happy now living without you." in fact, i think that really "i hate everything about you." and "it's just too bad you've already had the best days of your life."

you know what? "my heart will go on," and "i will survive!" and "now i'm stronger than yesterday." some days i believe that "i will love again, though my heart is breaking," but most days i think that "i don't need a man." because really when you think about it, "i'm every woman. it's all in me." so i'm pretty sure "i'll never fall in love again."

"all i can do is keep breathing," and really, "since you been gone i can breathe for the first time." and "now that you're gone, i can roll onto something good." but "the silence isn't so bad till i look at my hands and feel sad because the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly." so "i'm gonna find another you." that's right, "i'm moving on," and "you'll think of me."

"well, you put on quite a show. you really had me going." but "i can't make you love me if you don't." and "i think it's about forgiveness, even if you don't love me anymore." sure, i "can't take back those hours. but i won't regret cause you can grow flowers from where dirt used to be."

so i'm "just a small town girl living in a lonely world," and i'm wondering, "can anybody find me somebody to love?"

2 comments:

  1. Hi, Charissa! I love your blog and this post was amazing. Such amazing memories with songs. I was a late seventies/early eighties teenager. My favorite singer was Olivia Newton-John. When I was going through my dialysis and later transplant, she had an album entitled "Stronger Than Before" that was my "go to" album. She originally recorded (and wrote) the songs for those going through breast cancer, but it so applies to anyone going through a major illness. I bet I listened to that album 100 times on my drives to Vanderbilt in Nashville and back and know each song by heart. Just wanted to share a particular instance of how music has effected my life. (Of course, I can tell you the song playing on the radio when Charlie and I drove away from the church right after we were married, too!) Check out my blog sometime: http://ameekperspective.blogspot.com.

    Judy Meek :)

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  2. thank you so much, mrs. judy! that means so much to me! and thank you so much for sharing that story with me. i love how music speaks for us when words are lacking. and i love that you remember the song that played after you and your husband got married. ;) i will be your newest blog follower, for sure! i know that my mom reads it and loves it, so thank you for sharing the link with me! i hope you and your family are doing so well! GOD bless and hope i see you sometime when i'm home. :)

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