July 6, 2011

letting go

"lead me in YOUR truth, and teach me, for YOU are the GOD of my salvation; for YOU i wait all the day long." psalm 25:5

the lessons of GOD are discovered when we least expect them yet right when we need them. whether it's a random conversation with a friend whom you just happened to run into. whether it's a verse you just stumbled upon when opening your bible. whether it's a billboard on the side of the interstate or a commercial that caught your attention, the subliminal messages of GOD are everywhere we look.

yesterday morning i started summer school, an event in which i was not just terribly excited. i went to class expecting to learn all about approaches to research in order to begin my thesis for my capstone project. there was only one word in my mind to describe the amount of reading, researching, and working in my future...disgusting.

if you know me, you know that i like structure. i like independence and doing things on my own time. i like formulating my own, little plan and executing it perfectly into a great big ball of success. and when things go my perfectly-planned, little way, i like to celebrate by letting out a long, verbal "cha-ching" and doing a short but meaningful dance of victory.

but right as i was anticipating my approach for all of this work in front of me and formulating my excellent plan, a stack of cards was placed in front of me on my desk. my professor told me to pick a card, any card, and so out of the stack i picked one, and this is what it read:

"lead me in YOUR truth, and teach me, for YOU are the GOD of my salvation; for YOU i wait all the day long." psalm 25:5..."i can let go and let GOD."

can anybody say "obvious-apparent-and-needed-wake-up-call-from-the-little-index-card-in-the-middle-of-the-stack?" i was instantly covered with chills, realizing once again that i am never in control. that i am never the director or the play-maker. that the best decision i can ever make is to let go.

to follow GOD is to fall freely. to let go and dangle faithfully, knowing that you are securely attached to HIM. to skydive through the unknown knowing that HE'S got your back. and to take the dimly-lit path one step at a time letting HIM be the light.

GOD is the orchestrator of my life, and HIS plan is the only perfect one. HE is constantly bringing my life together for me, completely without need of my assistance or opinion. HIS ways are higher than mine, and they are good and true. and what HE brings together fits together better than anything i could ever try to build.

and so today i choose to let go and to let GOD, freely falling and patiently waiting on HIM.